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 Rank: COR Elder Groups: Admin
Joined: 11/30/2007 Posts: 569 Points: -364 Location: Northern California
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Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tobacco and drinking beer.
Suddenly Bubba says, "Think I'm gonna divorce the wife - she ain't spoke to me in over 2 months."
Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says, "Better think it over.............women like that are hard to find."
Kroll COR Elder/member since 5/12/99 (EQ1) I'm not as think as you drunk I am This week I achieved unprecedented levels of unverifiable productivity Back in my day... bacon, eggs, milk and sunshine were good for you
World of Warcraft - Krollus/Krollji (Server: Sisters of Elune[RP]) - Active EQ I, AC, UO, Lineage, Ryzom, EQ II, PotBS, DDO, DAOC, WAR, LOTRO, EVE Kroll and/or Krollji - in various professions and crafts
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Rank: Hero Groups: CoR Member
Joined: 12/10/2007 Posts: 281 Points: 933 Location: Northern California
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My brother and his family are getting ready to fly out to visit me on Saturday. My brother works out at the airport, and because it's only about a 10 minute drive for him, he took a suitcase out to the airport to double check the carry on bag size. (This is the first time they've gone further then Wisconsin as a family). So while he was at the airport he thought he'd check the rules about carrying liquids through the checkpoint (shampoo, etc).
He was told, "You can bring 3 oz of liquid or less through the checkpoint, but make sure the bottle is full".
Curious, he asked why the bottle had to be full.
"So some stranger can't walk up to you and ask "can I mix my liquid with your liquid?""
That's still tickling my funny bone.
Also known as: Lysira, Veeci, Silverblade
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 Rank: COR Elder Groups: Admin
Joined: 11/30/2007 Posts: 569 Points: -364 Location: Northern California
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A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.
'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior. 'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.'
'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.'
'I seem to recall that,' the Mother Superior agreed. 'So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?' 'Far from it,' snorted the Sister. 'In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!'
'Goodness, Sister!' gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. 'You must tell me all about it!'
'Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster, Mother -540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden green...and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made. And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted...and it hits a bird in mid-flight !' 'Oh my!' commiserated the Mother. 'How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!'
'No, that wasn't it,' admitted Sister. 'While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!'
'Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!' sympathized the Mother. 'But I didn't, Mother!' sobbed the Sister. 'And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!' 'So that's when you cursed,' said the Mother with a knowing smile. 'Nope, that wasn't it either,' cried the Sister, anguished, 'because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!' Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said..
'You missed the fucking putt, didn't you?'
Kroll COR Elder/member since 5/12/99 (EQ1) I'm not as think as you drunk I am This week I achieved unprecedented levels of unverifiable productivity Back in my day... bacon, eggs, milk and sunshine were good for you
World of Warcraft - Krollus/Krollji (Server: Sisters of Elune[RP]) - Active EQ I, AC, UO, Lineage, Ryzom, EQ II, PotBS, DDO, DAOC, WAR, LOTRO, EVE Kroll and/or Krollji - in various professions and crafts
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 Rank: Lord Groups: CoR Member
Joined: 11/10/2007 Posts: 639 Points: 1,831 Location: Nuevo Mehico
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^^ ROFL fucking putts and mixing liquids..i love you guys
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